2013年自考英语(二)课文译文:孩子的自尊

　　孩子的自尊

　　Self-esteem is what people think about themselves -- whether or not they feel valued -- and when family members have self-respect, pride, and belief in themselves, this high self-esteem makes it possible to cope with the everyday problems of growing up.

　　自尊是人们对自己的看法――是否自己被重视。当家庭成员拥有自尊、自豪和自信时，这种强烈的自尊心会使解决成长中的日常问题成为可能。

　　Successful parenting begins by communicating to children that they belong, and are loved for no other reason than just because they exist. Through touch and tone of voice parents tell their infants whether or not they are valued, special, and loved, and it is these messages that form the basis of the child's self-esteem. When children grow up with love and are made to feel lovable despite their mistakes and failures, they are able to interact with others in a responsible, honest, and loving way. A healthy self-esteem is a resource for coping when difficulties arise, making it easier to see a problem as temporary,manageable, and something from which the individual can emerge.

　　成功的育儿之道始于让孩子知道，他们属于这个家庭，他们受到宠爱没有别的原因，就因为他们自身的存在。通过言传身教，父母让孩子知道，他们是否受到重视，是否娇贵、是否被宠爱。这些信息构成了孩子自尊的基础。孩子在爱的环境中成长时，尽管他们有缺点和失败，他们仍能感到自己是可爱的，他们就能够以一种负责任的、诚实的、充满爱心的方式与人交往。当出现困难时，健康的自尊心是一种解决困难的手段，它能使人们更倾向于把问题看成是暂时的、可处理的、可以解决的。

　　If, however, children grow up without love and without feelings of self-worth, they feel unlovable and worthless and expect to be cheated, taken advantage of, and looked down upon by others. Ultimately their actions invite this treatment, and their self-defeating behavior turns expectations into reality. They do not have the personal resources to handle everyday problems in a healthy way, and life may be viewed as just one crisis after another. Without a healthy self-esteem they may cope by acting out problems rather than talking them out or by withdrawing and remaining indifferent toward themselves and others. These individuals grow up to live isolated, lonely lives, lacking the ability to give the love that they have never received.

　　然而，如果孩子们在没有爱心、没有自尊感的环境中成长，他们就感受不到爱的力量，他们会认为自己一无是处，总认为自己要被人期骗、利用和轻视。最后他们的行为招致了这种境遇，他们自欺的行为把理想变成了现实。他们没有能力用健康的方式处理日常问题，在他们看来，生活就是危机四伏。没有健康的自尊心，他们处理问题时，不是把问题谈出来，而是用行动把问题表现出来，或者是采取退缩和对自己和他人保持冷漠的态度。这些人长大以后会过一种孤独的、寂寞的生活，他们缺乏给予别人爱心的能力，因为他们从没接受过爱。

　　Self-esteem is a kind of energy, and when it is high, people feel like they can handle anything. It is what one feels when special things are happening or everything is going great. A word of praise, a smile, a good grade on a report card, or doing something that creates pride within oneself can create this energy. When feelings about the self have been threatened and self-esteem is low, everything becomes more of an effort. It is difficult to hear, see, or think clearly, and others seem rude, inconsiderate, and rough. The problem is not with others, it is with the self, but often it is not until energies are back to normal that the real problem is recognized.

　　自尊心是一种能量，当它充盈之时，人们好像无所不能。它是人们在发生特殊事情或每件事情都进展顺利时的感觉。一句赞扬，一个微笑、一个好成绩或激发起内心自豪的事情都会创造这种能量。当自我感觉受到威胁、自尊心不足时，一切事情都在更大程度上变成了一种需要费力去做的负担。人就难以耳聪目明、思维清晰，别人似乎都粗鲁、不体谅人、甚至粗暴。其实，问题不在别人身上，而是在自己身上，但常常等到有充足的自尊心后，人们才认识到真正的问题。

　　Children need help understanding that their self-esteem and the self-esteem of those they interact with have a direct effect on each other. For example, a little girl comes home from school and says, “I need lovings' cause my feelings got hurt today.?The mother responds to her child's need to be held and loved. If instead the mother said she was too busy to hold the little girl, the outcome would have been different.

　　孩子需要人们的帮助才能理解他们的自尊心和与他们所交往的人们的自尊心都会相互产生直接的影响。例如，一个小女孩从学校回家说：“我需要爱抚，因为今天我的感情受到伤害了。”孩子需要拥抱和爱抚，母亲对此作出了反应。假如母亲没有那样做，而说太忙，没有时间来拥抱、爱抚孩子，其结果将会是不同的。

　　The infant's self-esteem is totally dependent on family members, and it is not until about the time the child enters school that outside forces contribute to feelings about the self. A child must also learn that a major resource for a healthy self-esteem comes from within. Some parents raise their children to depend on external rather than internal reinforcement through practices such as paying for good grades on report cards or exchanging special privileges for good behavior. The child learns to rely on others to maintain a high self-esteem and is not prepared to live in a world in which desirable behavior does not automatically produce a tangible reward such as a smile, money, or special privileges.

　　婴儿的自尊完全依赖于家庭成员，直到上学时，外界的压力才会作用于他们的自我感觉。孩子也必须认识到健康的自尊心的一个重要来源是自己。一些家长在实践中依靠外部而不是内部的强化手段来抚养孩子。例如孩子的成绩单上有了好成绩就可以得到奖赏，有良好的行为就给予表扬。孩子学会了依靠别人来维持自己强烈的自尊心，却对现实世界的生活没有丝毫准备。因为在现实世界中，令人满意的行为并不会自动带来实在的报偿，如一个微笑、金钱或特权。

　　Maintaining a healthy self-esteem is a challenge that continues throughout life. One family found that they could help each other identify positive attitudes. One evening during an electric storm the family gathered around the kitchen table, and each person wrote down two things that they liked about each family member. These pieces of paper were folded and given to the appropriate person, who one by one opened their special messages. The father later commented, "It was quite an experience, opening each little piece of paper and reading the message. I still have those gifts, and when I've had a really bad day, I read through them and I always come away feeling better.”

　　保持健康的自尊心是一个人一生不懈的任务。有一个家庭发现他们能够相互帮助是一种积极的态度。在一个暴风雨的晚上，全家人围坐在餐桌旁，每人就每一家庭成员写下两件他所喜欢的事情。把写好的纸折叠起来然后交给每个相关的人，由他逐一打开。父亲后来评论说：“打开每一张纸片，读着其中的话语，那是一个极不寻常的体验。我仍然保留着这些礼物。当我某一天心情特别不好时，我就读一遍这些纸条，而后感觉就好多了。”

　　The foundation of a healthy family depends on the ability of the parents to communicate messages of love, trust, and self-worth to each child. This is the basis on which self-esteem is built, and as the child grows, self-esteem changes from a collection of other's feelings to become personal feelings about the self. Ultimately a person's self-esteem is reflected in the way he or she interacts with others.

　　健康的家庭基础建立在父母把爱、信任、自重传授给每个孩子的能力上。这是自尊心的基础。随着孩子的成长，自尊心就会由别人对他多种多样感觉的总和转变成他个人的自我感觉。最终，一个人的自尊心就反映在他或她与别人交往的方式上。

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